I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Randomize