i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
Randomize
