All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
I'm passing your future prison.
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
Randomize
