Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
Randomize