That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
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