She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize
