Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
Randomize
