theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
I need a burrito and a hug.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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