i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
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