What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
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