i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
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