my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
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