When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
Can't talk, ducks in the car
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