I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
Randomize
