Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
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