So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
