I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
Randomize
