Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
Dicks are not precious.
Randomize
