So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Randomize
