I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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