Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
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hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
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