i can't believe i had my finger in that
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
