The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
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