This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
Randomize