I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
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