Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
fuck your aforementioned shoe
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
Hi. This might be awkward, but I met you on saturday at about 330 am. I have to admit I don't remember your name, what we talked about, or various details of how I got home. What I do remember is that I was invested enough in getting your number to ask my cab driver for a pen to write it down since my phone was dead. So do you want to meet, soberer, some time?
Hey bro I think you got the wrong number I'm a dude
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
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