there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
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