your thong is hanging out like whoa
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
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