Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Randomize
