Someone shit on the floor
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
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