I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
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