How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
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