Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
