Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Randomize