Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
grandma shit on top of the toilet
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize
