i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
Randomize
