i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
Sober January is a disaster.
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
Randomize