When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
50% drunk capacity currently
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
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