giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
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