Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
Randomize
