it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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