is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
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Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
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She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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