You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Randomize
