I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
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