So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
Randomize
