TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
thus making me awesome and them whores
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
