Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize
