So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
Randomize
