We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
