the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
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i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
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He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize