Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
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