On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's not a foreskin expert like you
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
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