Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
I just spread your mom's ashes with my new girlfriend. I wouldve waited for you to fly home but she was uncomfortable in the house with her remains there. I'll mail you the urn since u handpainted it.
YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND ALREADY!?! WTF WE JUST HAD HER FUNERAL 3 WEEKS AGO!!!!!!!!!!!!
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
I'm both gender and math confused
Randomize