we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
Randomize
