Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize
