you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
foreskin is a definite game changer
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
Randomize
