Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Randomize
