those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
Randomize