His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
Randomize
