In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
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