I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
