There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
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