A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
Operation Purity has been aborted
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Randomize
