Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
Oh god it's open bar.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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