FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Randomize