You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Randomize
