did you get engaged???
So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
I love having hate sex.
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Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
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I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
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